that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize