i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
