so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
