Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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