he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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