It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize