Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
