I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
