What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize