What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
