Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
