"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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