Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
