Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
