He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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