she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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