it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
