Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
