I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i believe in u and ur pee
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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