Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
