Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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