I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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