um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize