just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize