I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
