belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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