yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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