wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am midnight drunk by noon
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
