i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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