This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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