I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I've blown a few things in my day
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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