you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
