The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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