there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
