If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
