just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
