I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
two words: eviction party
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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