At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How external is "for external use only"?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
