And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
