my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
