this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
