I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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