Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
