im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize