Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
