Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
