It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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