That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
