dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
