I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
