All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize