i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
