its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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