So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
