i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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