Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
