He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
