The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
