508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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