did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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