I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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