Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
