I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
