Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
