he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
