don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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