Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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