so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
