having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
