the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
