I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize