At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I supernannyed him into submission
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
